


The Way You Hurt Me

by Tamawind



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, It will get happy, M/M, Sadstuck, Very very subtle self harm refrence, im really sorry, this is kinda depressing, this sucks I appologize
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 01:56:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3832717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tamawind/pseuds/Tamawind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave is so fully in love with John and John Doesn't know if he feels the same but he and Dave work through it. </p>
<p>Kind of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting anything on here, I posted once on tumblr and that's about all the publicity my writings got! Also im john dave trash im sorry

You don't know why you thought that when you told John your life would magically become easier because it didn't. It just became harder.

When you had first come out as gay to John he wasn't surprised, he said he could tell ever since Jade and you had split. 

When you told John you had a huge crush on him you were thousands of miles away. Bro had moved you back to Texas and your days with John, Rose and Jade had ended. 

You don't really know what you expected when you told John. You didn't even know if he liked boys. You told him though and it was the most heartbreaking thing. 

You were just about to end it with Karkat who was your current boyfriend. Not because Karkat was a bad boyfriend, he was perfect, he just wasn't John. It's not fair at all to Karkat if you continued the relationship if you weren't for it 100%. 

John told you not to end it. John said that he didn't know how he felt about you but he knew enough to know he didn't hate you. 

You had cried all night. 

You broke up with Karkat the next morning. Explaining how to many things were happening in your life and you couldn't juggle them and a boyfriend. Karkat was crying but he understood and you both left on good terms.

You didn't tell John when you did. You instead told your sister Rose who told you it was for the best. You also told her about your confession to John and she informs you she's already discussed it with John on multiple occasions. 

It scares you, Johns reaction scares you. 

John seems to act like nothing ever happened between you two because he always goes to you about some girl in his class he thinks is hot. It hurts but you don't want to lose the trust he has in you by saying that it hurts. So you keep your mouth shut. 

The first time John says he loves you you think your gonna die from happiness, he loved you back! Your happiness was short lived however because not even 2 months later do you begin to fight. 

They're small fights and usually one of you is crying because of them. You feel you have it worse, mainly because you feel John is faking it every time he says something that causes your heart to leap into your throat.

"He can't really love me" you think to yourself constantly. 

"I've put to much pressure on him to reciprocate my feelings for him, he's just doing this so he doesn't hurt me" 

You hate yourself when you think this way. You also hate that you've thought this way because John had stopped texting you daily. It's like he was trying to distance himself. 

It hurt and you told him that a few times and he always had an excuse, not enough sleep, homework, his dad. You acted like you understood and forgave him, but it hurt.

You hated he could hurt you like this. You hated how your happiness depended completely on him. You hated how the one you fell for was killing you slowly from the inside out.

6 months after you told John you had a crush on him he comes to you and tells you he finds no one sexually attractive, not girls and not guys. He also says he might be aromantic but he likes the idea of cuddling so he doesn't really think he is. 

Your accepting of course, john is still your bestfriend and if he doesn't feel any attraction towards anyone your perfectly fine with that. Or so you tell yourself so the tears don't fall as you think of the few times he said he was attracted to you. 

If you were him you'd ditch your sorry sarcastic bitchy ass, it would be so easy considering they lived in different states. 

Your still set to visit John when school gets out but you find yourself less and less enthusiastic about it. 

Your plan was to kiss and cuddle the fuck out of him for the days you were there but despite John saying he's game for it you can tell he isn't and that scares you. It scares you enough your thinking of canceling. You never would though, you love the nerd to much. 

You hate everything about John, from the way he texts from the way he makes the conversation all about him. He won't even talk to you about your shitty comics or bro, instead he tells you about his home work and stupid movies. When you try to change to a more interesting topic he leaves.

You barely ever talk to John anymore. The few times you text eachother, the words come out harsh and it always ends with fighting and you struggling to get your point across but not hurt him. Because your so fucking in love it physically hurts you when he ignores what your saying and making it seem like your fault. 

You opt to listening to songs you convey how you feel to him but all the songs are too harsh. You hate him so fucking much but at the same time you'd sell your soul to just hold him in your arms and be able to whisper how amazing he is into his ear. 

Nothing works you feel lost and your about to act like this was one big joke, and that you had finally out pranked the prank master. You know you'd just hurt John and yourself in the process and the thought dies before it ever even started. 

"Maybe when we meet in person everything will just fall into place"

"Maybe when I get to hold him tightly and tell him i missed him so much he'll say he feels the same way I do about him" 

You feel disgusting, you feel gross. You feel your forcing yourself onto someone who's mumbling no. 

Maybe you are, you haven't seen John face to face unless it was Skype and neither of you talked about your relationship on there. God you hated distance with a passion. 

School eventually ends and your not very happy with how this year went grades wise. Your GPA was a 4.2 so you really had no room to complain. You just know Johns is higher and that pisses you off. 

"Maybe if you actually tried and weren't so useless you'd actually be smart"

"Your such a fucking idiot" 

You really truly hated yourself. You left school that day with sad songs playing on repeat just reminding you how nothing's ever gonna change. Your stopped at the door by your brother who's holding two swords. You silently grab yours and take the long way to the roof. 

You throw your whole self into the strife and hope to god bro cuts huge gashes on you. You actually contemplate running into his sword to stab yourself but it's too risky and bro would be on to him. 

You don't even flinch when you feel the edge of his sword connect with your shoulder. You drop your sword and Bro quickly brings you back to the apartment to fix you up. Your thankful he didn't mention the tiny white scars that deffinently aren't from swords.

You had exactly 3 days until you left for Johns. You spent the first day packing up all your clothes. The second day you lounged around the house, playing with your turntables for a bit before eventually going on your computer. 

John had only texted you to make sure you were still coming. He didn't mention he was exited or that he was nervous, so neither did you. You gave a quick reply saying yes you were indeed going to be arriving at the egbert household in 2 days time. 

The last day before Johns was spent rushing to get a few last minute things packed and flying to Washington. You had no idea what you were expecting and kept trying to tame the butterflies that seemed to have been set loose in your stomach. 

You think might pass out once you land. 

You make your way to baggage claim when you first spot him. He's nervously looking at all the people coming through. The only thought in your mind is how adorable he looks all nervous and flustered. 

You go to talk to him but freak out and hide behind some huge family. You wait for your bag alone feeling terrible you left John. You look at your phone to see he's been frantically texting you worrying you hadn't made it. You grabbed your bag off the conveyer belt and went to go get the meeting over with.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! But here it is!

"Boo" you say when you've placed yourself right behind the one and only John Egbert. 

He lets out a small yelp before spinning around. You keep your face impassive with the slightest smirk. God you missed this dork. 

"Dave! Oh my gosh I missed you so much!" He wraps his arms around you in a hug and you can't do anything but hug him back and breathe his scent in. 

You feel warm and safe in his arms and you don't ever want to let him go, ever. You hope John feels the same. You feel someone staring at you and John pulls away to grab your suitcase. 

"Welcome back David" Mr. Egbert said greeting you with a pat on your shoulder. 

"It's good to be back Mr. E" you say having the sudden urge to grab Johns hand as they make there way out of the airport. 

You don't grab his hand, you instead shove them in your pockets and follow them as John goes on about the ride here and how excited he was to see you. It was weird seeing John in person after a whole year. All the nights when you told him what you wanted to do with him when you go here kept popping up in your head. 

Were you going to kiss John Egbert while here? Were you going to hold his hand and cuddle with him? You really didn't want to think about that right now. 

You reach the Egbert's car and see John get in the back instead of the front seat. 

"It's kind of a long ride I didn't want you to be all alone" he said looking at you with those fucking eyes. 

God you could get lost at sea with those eyes. Scratch you could, you are lost at sea, your in the middle of the fucking pacific right now. 

You swallow down the lump in your throat and nod to show it was okay, you didn't know why you needed to do that you'd be okay with anything the blue eyed dork wanted you too. 

John smiled a huge smile and buckled his seat belt, you followed his lead and buckled up as well. Mr. Egbert started the car and started to leave the airport lot. 

You try to ignore the butterflies that make you want to physically curl up on yourself and scream until they leave. You almost do exactly that when you feel Johns hand rest on yours.

Okay that was deffinently a small squeak you just let out. You glance over at John who doesn't seem to notice. Instead he glances at you and gives you a huge goofy grin. You can't help it that the corner of your lips turn up too. 

"So David how is school?" Mr. E says and causes both you and John to jump a little, John moves his hand off yours and you clear your throat. 

"It's boring but I have a few friends I've made that make it less so." Mr. E accepts his answer and leaves him alone for the time being.

"Im glad you came down I know Johns been missing you like crazy" you fight the blush from taking over your face as you look over at john who's a blushing mess. 

"Im glad I came down too. I miss him..." You drift off before realizing how cliche and sappy that was. "And everyone else" you add quickly. 

"Oh yea that reminds me!" John said finally finding a voice. 

"Jade and Rose are gonna meet us when we get home" you could tell he was talking more to his Dad then you. 

"Sweet I haven't seen those two in a year" you both laugh till you realize, you haven't seen them in a year. 

The joke became less funny and you drifted off into silence. It didn't last long because John saw a billboard of a new movie he wanted to see and started rambling on about the actors and effects. 

"No Dave you don't get it the castings perfect and they haven't casted the main character yet and if they don't live up to how they casted everyone else I have no idea what i would do" 

You thought he was absolutely adorable and found yourself wanting run your fingers through his hair and wrap your arms around his waist and just cuddling the fuck out of him. You find your hand intertwine with his and you stare into those oceans for eyes.

"Dave are you even listening?" You quickly snap out of your daydream and look at John. 

"Of course I am, your talking about who you think would be perfect to play the main character in that new TV show." 

John sighs, "close enough" 

You want to cry as you see the familiar streets. You were now 10 minutes away form Johns house and you were just gazing out the window with your headphone in. John had rested his head on your shoulder as you both shared headphones. 

You couldn't believe you were here, you were with your crush who may or may not like you back, and you were back to Je place that felt like home. Your heart ached so badly. 

You kept your hand around Johns waist as you watched Mr. E pull into the garage. 

"John" you whisper moving your arm to shake him a little. "John were here" 

His blue eyes open up to look at you before placing his head on your chest and hugging you. "I dun wanna move" he squeezed you tighter as you let out a chuckle. 

"We gotta go meet Jade and Rose remember?" 

"They can wait" he mumbled into your chest that was about to explode from how close John was and how fucking adorable he was. 

"John it's been my dream for like a year to cuddle you but it's also been my dream to go see my sister and friend." 

John sighs and reluctantly untangles himself from Dave. 

"Knowing Rose she's already outside." John replied unbuckling himself. 

You both exit the car and you follow John outside to where you are promptly tackled to the ground. 

"DAVID ELIZABETH STRIDER YOU HAVENT TEXTED ME IN A WEEK! YOU WERE COMING BACK AND YOU DIDNT EVEN TEXT ME BACK" 

"Oh fuck" you cough a little trying to get air back into your lungs 

"Oh fuck is right you dick" Jade punched you not so lightly in the stomach. 

"Jade don't hurt my boyfriend!" John said trying to laugh at how stupid I probably looked curled upon myself. 

"I wasn't aware you two had made it official?" Rose replied the constant smirking know it all face was clearly heard through her tone of voice. 

"I-uh-ahhh" John was lost and you took a deep breath, finally you could use your lungs correctly. 

"No we haven't" you said and saw John look away blushing. 

Rose and Jade looked at each other then laughed. 

"You guys are so dating and you know it." 

"We've seen the texts" 

"I want to play with your fingers" Jade says mimicking John. 

"And your hands and just hold them, And link our hands and just admire your face and play with your hair and take of your silly shades to see your beautiful eyes" Jade continued in a stupid voice clearly mimicking the sweet shit Egbert had sent you that had made you blush like crazy. 

"I want to wrap my arms around you and hold you tightly so that I know your real" Rose began as Jade ended, this time clearly imitating you. 

"I don't want to ever stop holding you because I don't ever wanna let you go"   
You consider hitting them both so they shut up but the pain in your stomach reminds you just who you were with. 

"I want to kiss you at random moments to watch you blush as your caught off guard" Jade and Rose say together and make obnoxious kissing noises. 

"Please neither of us sound like that, plus who allowed you to read the sacred texts between the wonderful princess Egbert and I, wait no scratch that im the princess in his relationship, sorry John the role is taken you can be my hand maid that's secretly my lesbian lover, do you think they had that back then? Secret lesbian hand maids who slept with princesses. I bet that's what I was in a past life..." You were cut off by Johns lips on yours. 

"Dave. What are you even talking about." John asked clearly flustered when he pulled away. 

"Nuh uh get your ass back here and get your lips back on mine." 

John blushed and grabbed you hand instead. Rose and Jade were quietly talking and giggling. You swear you saw a flash from Roses phone but she feigned innocence. 

You all walked to the park a little ways away were you got tired of waiting for egbert to make the first move. You pulled him to you and connected your lips together. You had no idea what you were doing, John was your first kiss and you knew you were Johns. 

When you thought of kissing him you hoped you would just magically know what to do when your lips connected, you didn't though and it was a little awkward until you both stopped caring and did whatever you both thought was right. 

It ended in a fit of giggles after your braces had hit his with a huge clank. 

"That was cute" Rose said, "but its been a year since I've seen my brother and you'll get him to yourself soon enough."

Johns blush was out of control. 

The rest of the time at the park was spent catching up, climbing on things not meant to be climbed on and fierce competitions with Jade, it was starting to get dark and all four of you were on swings. 

"I really missed all of you guys" you say looking down at your feet gently pushing yourself back and forward, happy for the first time in months. 

Right now you were truly happy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit sad I guess idrk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh I haven't read through this I just had it saved so I figured I should post it so if there's and mistakes or typos im sorry!

Your pretty sure Johns smile is contagious. You also know what your about to say is going to wipe that smile right off his face. 

You really wish your mind would just stop thinking about this. Today was a good day, hell it was fuxking perfect. You saw your best friends again, you kissed your long time crush and it was magical. You were still trying to contain the butterflies. Your mind however had been running around like crazy thinking about the past few months. The months where you two were fighting almost non stop. 

Your chest ached and you felt yourself sub consciously pull John closer to you and tighten your grip on him. You were honestly making yourself sick thinking about how you were going to ruin the magic that was today. 

"John... We have to talk about... We need to" you were about to cry, you were so close to breaking down and flipping your shit. 

"Dave! Dave! Look at me! Breath breath for me please, shhhh calm down what's wrong?" 

You just shook your head and refused to let John see your face. 

"Dave please I care so much about you please tell me what's wrong" 

You wish you had control over what you said next, you wish this was all just some bad dream, today was doing so well it felt like you could actually be happy with John and he was happy with you. You just had to ruin it though. 

"Do you really? Do you honestly care about me John" you don't want to look at his eyes. Oh god anything but those eyes. 

He looks so hurt and betrayed, he lets go of you like your skin burned him. His mouth was hung open, he didn't even know what to say. You felt like a huge dick but honestly to get that off of your chest felt amazing despite the fact the reprecutions for your actions would probably come back to bite you in the ass.

"What's that even supposed to mean Dave" he sounds broken and you immediately feel immense hatred for yourself, you did this to John, you broke him. 

Well, there's no turning back now. 

"For the past few months we haven't even spoken, it's like, it's like I was there just when you wanted me there, whenever you talked to me I felt it was only ever about you and when I mentioned something about me you'd either change it back to you or not reply at all. It felt very one sided and I felt so alone John. I felt like I was just a toy you found amusement in then once you realized you were to old for toys you left me under the bed unless you were home alone with no one around, I feel like your dirty little secret John and even after today I can't help but think back to when all I got from you was silence, when you texted me asking if I was still coming down here did you even realize that was the first text you sent me in weeks? Months even?" 

Your shades were off, the tears were overflowing. 

"John I just I love you so much I never once blamed you and I still don't it's all my fault, im to sensitive I need too much attention and I expected you to know that without me saying anything. I-i feel like I'm hurting myself by loving you because I feel like you can't reciprocate my feelings and im too pushy."

John just stares at me, he looks like he's crying as well. "Im sorry Dave"

"I didn't even notice it had been months since we've talked, I must've been so caught up in preparing for you to come here and passing my finals, I completely didn't know I was neglecting you. I got your texts every single one and didnt reply even when I wanted to, I-I suck, you shouldn't like me, I still don't understand how you do" 

"Neither do I" you say and it's true. 

You feel so drained. You cautiously make your way over to John then gently place yourself next to him. You gently kiss his cheek before laying your head on his chest. You can feel his erratic heartbeat, and the fast intakes of breaths he takes to stop the sobs that threaten to take over. You wrap your arms around his waist, you feel so happy and warm and tired and sad. You feel John wrap an a around you before his hand finds its way into your hair. 

"Im sorry" you both mumble before you both decided sleep sounds really really nice.

You wake up the next morning not feeling half as rested as you should be considering the amount of time you slept. Your body felt empty, like all the emotions and energy you had disappeared in the night. Your motivation to do anything today had been swept away with the night. 

You noticed John wasn't next to you but you didn't blame him. Last night you said some tough shit and probably hurt him. You took a deep breath before venturing out of the room, the faint sound of running water could be heard, meaning someone, most likely john, was taking a shower. 

The smell of pancakes hit you and you suddenly found a reason to make your way into kitchen. 

"Good morning David, I trust you slept well" 

"Like a baby Mr. E" you settled down at the island watching as Mr. egbert started pouring pancake batter on the pan. 

"I hope you don't mind chocolate chip pancakes, I asked john if you would be okay with them before he went to shower and he said you would" 

Man you fucking love John. But your pretty sure you love these pancakes a tiny bit more. 

"Yea chocolate chip pancakes are perfect"

You watch as he makes a stack of 4 before handing it to you along with butter and syrup. You quickly take initiative and butter up your pancakes loving how it melted and spread so smoothly. You poured the syrup and sat mesmerized as it cascades down the sides of your pancake. 

It isn't till the last line of syrup reaches the bottom of the plate that you see John already eating a forkful of delicious golden pancakes. 

"Hey egbert how've you been?" You say moving your body to face him while still being able to reach your plate. 

"I've been better, I was thinking we'd take a walk to the soccer fields, meet up with Sollux and Aradia" you finish the bite that you put in your mouth. 

"Aww man it's been a year since I've seen that lovely heterochromia lisping nerd and the always flawless Aradia"

You find yourself remembering the fond times you had when you still lived in Washington with them. In Fact you still remember when Sollux got the nerves to finally ask her out. You were there when it happened. 

"It seems like just yesterday he dropped his note cards with his ideas listed on how to ask Aradia out in front of her" 

John snorted at the memory, he had been there when Eridan had tripped Sollux causing the cards carefully stacked in his hand flying all over the room and in front of a very flustered Aradia. 

"Yea well at least it worked out for them in the end"

You heard a hint of bitterness laid thickly under Johns words. Guilt overwhelmed you immediately. You wanted to say something to help john or defend yourself or both, but with his dad constantly refilling your plate full of pancakes you were unable to without creating an even bigger problem neither of you wanted. 

"Yes at least it did"

You took the last bite of your pancake and thanked Mr. E before asking if you could use the shower. You didn't wait for a reply before heading into the bathroom.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I lost all hope of making this happy it's just going to progressively get worse and worse I formally apologize

Everyone always says the best place to cry is on the shower. Usually they say this because the shower effectively hides any evidence of water running down your face since the whole purpose of a shower is to run water down you. Also the water pelting the sides of the tub hide any sobs that probably aren't the quietest. That's why when you find yourself in the shower of your long time crush and currently "it's complicated" partner, you find yourself blankly staring ahead wondering how people could cry in a place such as a shower. To you it wasn't even close to the best place to cry. Mainly because you found comfort in showers and being able to be alone and get some well needed privacy. 

The water started cooling slightly reminding you this wasn't your house and water is expensive. Grabbing the towel provided, you slowly turned the shower off and got out. You found yourself slightly more upset then when you entered in the shower. Because in personal opinion you feel better after crying in a closet then you do in a shower. As you exited the bathroom you saw no one around and quickly made your way to Johns room where your bag was. You glanced around, weary of johns stuffed rabbits beady eyes staring into your soul. Closing the door, and locking it, you quickly changed into your normal skinny jeans and record shirt.

After making a quick stop back at the bathroom to retrieve your previous set of clothes you desperately search for John. Because the fear of having a casual talk with Mr. Egbert just scares the shit out of you. You glance in the living room and kitchen seeing no sign of him you make your way towards the sunroom but sadly are let down again. 

"It's okay" you think to yourself as you make your way towards the window looking out back towards the pool. 

"He's just right over on the general vacinity" your no longer just speaking in your head, your now talking to yourself trying to calm yourself down. Now you really hope Mr. Egbert doesn't find you before you find John.

You glance out all the windows and finally spot his jet black hair. You calm yourself down before silently opening the front door, watching as John continues to pick at the grass in front of him. 

"Hey" you say sitting next to him hoping he doesn't mind. 

John leans on you and you know that for now everything is okay between the two of you. 

"Hey" he breathes out and closes his eyes.

"So what's the big plan for today? We're supposed to meet up with Sollux and 'Radia right?" John doesn't open his eyes but let's put another breathe.

"Yea but not until 3 since Sollux has some robotics thing at the school" 

You nod your head and figure you wouldn't mind walking back towards your old school. You still knew the way by heart, having walked to and from school for about two years. 

"Let's go for a walk then, first towards the fields then past the school. If we're lucky the robotics team will be doing team building so we can go annoy Sollux" John laughs and sits up before nodding his head. 

"Yea that sounds like a great idea." He stands up and offers a hand to you which you willingly take. After pulling you up off the ground he disappears inside the house to tell his dad that we'll both be home in time for dinner which will be served at 7.

The walk starts of uncomfortably quiet, there's so much you want to say, so much you both want to say, but none of you are brave enough to make the first move and discuss it. So that results in uncomfortable silence. You glance around and find you can't see the houses anymore, you had taken the way through the woods and hear the silence was filled with crinkling of leaves and snapping of twigs. You reached for Johns hand and only flinched a little when he jumped like you had just slapped him. 

Eventually your hands were both entwined with each others and everything just felt right. 

"I'm sorry" you say breaking the silence. 

"I know, I'm sorry as well" you could feel how he tightened his grip on your hand, like he was afraid he'd lose you. 

"It's just with you, everything's so confusing and sometimes I wonder if this isn't just another big prank that will end in my laughing and saying 'good one John you really got me there' when all I really want to do is break down into tears, ya know?"

"Well that makes two of us" John breathed out pulling you impossibly closer to him. 

"Why can't we just accept the fact that we both actually like each other" you say seeing the fields and feeling a wave of nostalgia hit you. You felt sick.

"I wish I knew the answer to that." John said before leading me to the swing sets. 

"Did you ever carve your name into the play set?" You ask as you and John just gently swing back and forwarth your hands still connected. 

"Maybe I don't recall ever doing it but it's highly plausible." 

"I did, many times, the first time was during field day in, God it must've been second grade, everyone else was doing it and I wanted to be cool so I climbed onto the top of the roof covering the slide and took my time carving out my full name so everyone who was cool enough to climb to it was blessed with the name 'Dave Strider'" John chuckled a little, "your such a dork Dave" 

"Hey at least I'm not Eridan, thirsty son of a bitch wrote his phone number right over there" you pointed to the 'zip line' with your free hand, "like the two dollar whore he is" 

"How did you know it was Eridan, did you call him, Dave did you hire Eridan to get you off, Dave this is serious buisness" 

"Ew oh my god John I can't believe you think so low of me! That fucking prick wrote his god damn name above the number" 

John laughed, like actually laughed, not a stupid giggle or chuckle but an honest to god laugh, God you missed him so much. 

"Come on let's go see if we can find Sollux, and maybe if we're lucky Karkat." 

You made the way to John and yours old school all the while you were describing your new school and the type of people that were there. 

"No I swear John you'd love all of them and they'd love you... Okay Meenah won't but she doesn't really like anyone so she doesn't count."

You explained the buildings architecture and the amazing new music room that had just been completed a few months before school had ended. You explained how you got to take the tablets the school supplies home with you during the summer and you never have to return it until you graduate. 

John listened with intent never making you feel like he wasn't listening because you honestly haven't just talked about stuff with him in forever.

"I even joined track Egbert, like running jumping the whole thing" 

"Dave you did the pole vault"

"Still very physical"

"You texted me during half your practice couldn't be that physical" 

You didn't have a reply to that because in truth you probably did, pole vaulters were given free reign since they had no coach and weren't very good compared to other schools. You did fairly well, you've never came in first but you didn't mind, you cleared 9" once and to you that was the best accomplishment of the year so all the time you spent just laying on the pole vaulting mat was well worth it. 

 

You saw the school and another wave of nostalgia hit. You saw figures in the field and you and John had matching grins on your faces. 

You take a deep breathe and the only thing on your mind is "God I missed this all so much" before you and John sprinted through the parking lot and to where very familiar faces were waiting.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mainly just nonsense talk, a filler, I dont really know what its filling since I lost all sense of where this is going

"I dont fucking care what the other team did this is fucking impossible!"

You and John had gotten to the fence know and Karkats very loud voice had reached your ears. 

"KK yes it is move your giant ass feet to the left"

"Giant ass feet?! Your feet are 3 sizes the size of mine dumbass"

"The only dumbass here is you KK now move to the fucking left" 

"Yea KK move to the left" You said smirking as they both turned around simultaneously, Sollux almost fell over, it was a hilarious sight. 

"Dave thtrider?" Sollux said, his lisp returning, probably too shocked to concentrate on not.

"I will be accepting hugs from you lower beings now, I do not have all day" you said opening your arms out wide waiting too see who would cave first. 

You watched in amusement as Karkat ran over, though if anyone said that he ran he would fully deny it, and wrapped his arms around you. You hugged him tightly to you and you enjoyed the familiar smell of cinnamon and earl grey tea, an odd combination that Karkat wasn't even aware he smelled like. You looked up slightly and saw Sollux rubbing his foot in the ground waiting for his turn. You felt a tiny smile creep up onto your face, fuck have you missed them. 

"Come over here my lisping princess" You stepped away from Karkat and automatically arms were wrapped around you once again.

"Why didn't you tell us you were coming back?" Sollux said not letting you go yet. 

"Why would I tell you when I could just surprise you besides, I was way too lazy to text you" Sollux let go of you and stepped back.

"Bullshit Strider I know for a fact you text John 24 fucking 7, you couldn't take 3 seconds to send KK or I a quick text you were visiting." You give a sheepish smile and put one hand behind your head, not sure how to reply since he was as usual, correct. 

"Thats because I'm more special than you" John pulled you into his side and your arms wrapped around his waist immediately.

"How so?" Karkat asked and you blushed profusely.

"Like this" John said and leaned down a but to kiss you straight on the lips, you part your lips almost immediately and your mind went completely blank all thoughts were completely consumed by the taste of John which tasted faintly of maple syrup. 

"You two are fucking gay" Sollux said causing John to leap back away from you and go red in the face. 

"I called it" Karkat said smirking at the two of you. 

You licked your lips subconsciously, your mouth felt really dry and the only thought on your mind was kissing John, over and over again. God you need to get a grip on yourself this is completely irrational. You discreetly adjust your shades on your face and give a short side glance to John who as usual knows exactly where your eyes are. You look away quickly and see Karkat and Sollux are talking to you. You haven't heard a single word so they stop and glare at you causing you to snap out of it and hear the pair of them shouting "Dave" in a very pissed off tone of voice. 

"Where you even listening shitface" Karkat said glaring at you, it didnt take a mind reader to know he was beyond annoyed, you tended to have that effect on people. 

"What? No I wasn't I'd say I'm sorry but I'm really not so..." 

"It's like you never left, I'm so done with you go back to your shitty place down south"

"I'll have you know my friends down their fully appreciate my presence and are honored when they even get a chance to speak to me" Everyone scoffs at you because they know for a fact your a total dork and no one in their right mind would actually be graced by your presence unless you one day magically became a ballerina princess which considering your dance skills and gender was not happening any time soon. 

“Yea okay princess, don’t get your head to high up into the clouds.” Sollux said, you all started to make your way around the baseball field, heading towards the two bars that reminded you of the equipment male gymnasts used. Instead of performing inhuman tricks on the metal bars parallel to each other everyone just used it like a bench, ass on one bar feet on the other. 

“So, any drama happen while I was gone” You say passing the insanely high pile of dirt that you can’t possibly believe is still there after a whole year. 

“Well since they stopped grouping all us smart asses in the same class we lost touch with people like Equius and Nepeta hasn’t been around since Karkat turned her down.” 

“You did what? Nepeta is cute though and from what I heard she’s only gotten hotter.” You throw a side-glance at Karkat who is making a point to avoid looking at any of you. 

“Karkat only sees Nep as a friend, nothing more, he worried for weeks how to break it down easily to her. “ John said lacing his fingers with yours. 

“Oh that must’ve been tough I’m sorry man” You say feeling slightly bad a good friendship was ruined. 

“It happened a while ago her and I are fine now.” 

You all stayed silent for a few minutes as all four of you got situated on the bars, you sneaked in a kiss on Johns lips then cheek before leaning slightly on him, not enough to make him fall but enough to let him know you were there.

“We also lost touch with Gamzee, he went straight to the drug addicts at the beginning of school, last I heard that jackass was arrested for selling and possessing drugs.” What Karkat said didn’t surprise you, Gamzee had been going down the wrong path for a few years now. 

“How are you and Aradia, still going strong” You say ignoring the way John squeezed your hand. 

“They, broke up when she moved” John said quietly, it was then you realized you made a huge mistake asking that question, now you had just made it awkward and only you could fix this, you really wish John had told you this when you talked about Sollux and Aradia earlier, it would have saved you from this. 

“Oh, I’m sorry bro that must’ve been really hard, but do you like anyone else now since she left?” That seems to lighten the mood and Karkat and John share a knowing look at each other. 

“Yea Sollux who’s your crush now?” John teases and Sollux flips him off, making a point to keep his mouth shut.

“Yea Sollux where do you go every Saturday to ‘play video games’” 

“I bet you guys just play with each others joysticks” John says and its clear Sollux is fed up. 

Your at first very confused but then it hits you, “No way it cant be”

You look between John, Karkat and Sollux your face in pure shock, “No fucking way, it can’t be” 

The blush on Solluxs’ face says it all. 

“Your fucking Eridan Ampora!” 

“We never fucked, we just—“ the rest of his sentence is mumbled and impossible to comprehend. 

“What was that” You John said giggling like a fool. 

“I just sucked his dick okay that’s all we never did anything but a few hand jobs and many, many blow jobs.” The sigh he lets out can almost be taken as content at the thought of giving blowjobs to Eridan fucking Ampora.

“I can’t believe it, whos the gay one now?” You say throwing his own words back in his face. 

“Its still you jackass I’m bi” He said leaning back slightly and swinging a single leg.

“Hey I’m not gay either then, if we aren’t using it as an umbrella term then I’ll come out and say I’m pansexual” John did a fake gasp and made a very dramatic show of pure terror. 

“Does this mean your cheating on me? With kitchen pans? Dave Strider I thought we had something special, I thought—I thought you loved me, Dave, Dave, this is serious.” You none to gently pushed John back. “Shut up Egbert, you know what it actually means and so do they, your not amusing anyone.”

John almost completely fell off the bar, instead he quickly picked his chest up and attempted to sit up by putting his feet under the bar across from him. 

“Dave you could have killed me!”

“And I’m a little sad I failed at that” John pouts and leans towards you, most likely for a kiss. 

“Nuh uh, mean people like you cant even lay a finger on goddesses like me.” You lean the opposite way of John and you see the mischievous glint in his eyes.

“No. no I know that look get your nasty ass fingers away from my body” You see the thought run through his mind and you can see his body start to react.

You are off the bars seconds before John begins to get off the bars. You run for your life as you hear John giggle like a maniac behind you but you don’t even dare look back. 

“Boo!” John leaps onto your back and you so did not scream like a girl, you do however stumble slightly, but not enough to drop John or fall flat on your face.

“Jesus John you scared me” You said dropping him carefully to the ground.

“I thought Striders don’t get scared Dave” John says teasing you while holding your hand.

“Shut up and kiss me before I change my mind” John leans in quickly to peck you on the lips before running off too the others who were giving both of you amused looks.

“There is still a lot we have to catch you up on” John says running back to the others and you cant help but smile because this is all you had ever wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> I should update within a few days


End file.
